


The Feeling Of Loss

by ladyhavilliard



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Oneshot, i haven't reposted it after my first tumblr got deleted, i just found this sitting in my drafts, no names are mentioned, nothing really happens, so i thought i might share here, tho not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:25:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyhavilliard/pseuds/ladyhavilliard
Summary: And then you realize her eyes weren’t violent oceans and wildfires, but rain, washing away the life left in that golden ring of embers.





	The Feeling Of Loss

You think you’d know loss when you see it? You think it’s so obvious you couldn’t miss it?

You think you know where to look for it?

You walk the streets and see a girl. She’s sitting on a bench, all alone, her eyes are constantly falling shut. Dressed in black from head to toe, as if she just came from a funeral. You pass by and wonder who she’s lost. You worry about her, but you don’t know her, so you keep going.

Maybe she did feel loss. Maybe she was heartbroken indeed. Or maybe, she was just tired after long days of studying and needed a moment outside to clear her head. But she looked tired and alone and that thought never occurred to you.

You keep walking, watching the people around you. Then you hear a laugh and stop.

And you look up.

She’s young. She’s beautiful. She’s surrounded by a lot of friends. She must be popular, you think. You can hear her laugh and see the big smile on her face. Her golden hair falls down her back like sunshine over the green dress she’s wearing. Her eyes have the color of a clear river with a ring of raging fire. Everything about her screams life. The way she talks, the way she dances around- everything screams happiness. She looks perfect.

You walk away and don’t look back.

You never paid attention.

You heard her laugh, but ignored the emptiness of it. You saw her smile, but forgot to look at her eyes then. Yes, the color reminded you of water and life, as did her hair and her clothes. But no matter what she said, what she did or where she looked at, her eyes were always the same. There was a distant look, a soulless expression. Something was missing. Someone was gone. And a part of her had followed him.

But you didn’t know where to look.

You didn’t know what to search for.

You missed everything.

Until that night, when you lost somebody, too.

And the next time you walked through the park and saw that very same group of friends, talking and laughing together, you always looked away. There’s that longing for something you’ll never be able to be a part of again. A happiness you won’t ever experience again. So you always walk away, not able to endure it. It hurts too much.

But then you meet her eyes, just for a second. This time, you can’t miss it.

Because what you see…

It’s exactly what you see when you look at your reflection in the mirror.

And then you realize her eyes weren’t violent oceans and wildfires, but rain, washing away the life left in that golden ring of embers.

She is beautiful and her smile is bright, but it never touches those eyes. She is laughing, but it is a broken sound. Last time you heard it, you envied it. Now your eyes water at the sound.

She hugs her friends, she sings, she dances. She looks comfortable around them, always leaning on somebody. But now you know where to look. Now you see that her shoulders are tense, now you see how she constantly looks away and loses herself in her head.

You thought you could recognize loss when you saw it. You thought it was easy to say who was hurting, who was broken.

But as you wondered who she had lost to hurt so much, you realize that you were wrong.

The most broken are often not who we expect them to be. You only see the difference, when you know where to look.

 


End file.
